Journal.Bible-Verses-Insights.com

Early morning today I was going through some of my college study notes. I used to write spiritual journal on A4 study paper and attach it in my course binder.

Going through the notes reminded me of what I had been going through each semester.

I found that my college life was a long, dark tunnel of repeated academic mediocrity, financial dependency, disorganization, depression, betrayal and broken promises from friends, suicidal thoughts…

I noted how I had been trying to improve some of my academic weakness such as focus and self-discipline, and I had been seeking hard after God for spiritual insights that can change my situations, but looking back I could see a lot of unanswered prayers over a long period of time.

I joined a network marketing company at some point during the dark period because I yearned for a positive environment, instead I got manipulated by legalistic, and even some of the very negative people I had ever known. My upline cursed me. (The NM representative who recruits you is called upline and you are his downline)

I failed internship in college. I failed even music courses. I manged to be a survivor in my program (math), but merely surviving. I felt as though I had studied nothing at all. What I learned didn’t help me land a meaningful job, nor was it useful for anything.

I had wanted to quit all my addictions and bad habits since DAY 1 of my college years, but by the end of college I acquired some more.

I dedicated my marriage into God’s hand and had a big dream, but it got broken, shredded, and at the end it felt like a sharp knife piercing into my heart many times.

I found shames and forlornness, instead of the wonderful, romantic dream being fulfilled. My story was worst than those who practiced casual dating.

Every time there was a breakthrough and passing of a test, I was soon being thrown back into many many times more confusion, walking in circles instead of continual breakthrough that I need to complete my quests, and frustrations.

I had dedicated my firstfruit to God, but I didn’t receive the harvest in return. I was kept in poverty. I spent the best chunk of my time to seek God, but suffered guilt, mediocrity, and defeats for the rest of the time.

But I thank God for that. Am I crazy? No.

I thank God because I learned something important through the ordeals.

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. Psalm 119:71

If I had been blessed with an easier life, and a straight path to success, I wouldn’t have learned to fear the word of God, and the reality of blessing and curse. I wouldn’t have been as passionate as I am now to teach this principle to others, and set them free with this truth.

I was cursed because of my ancestors’ sins, and I was also cursed because of every evil word that had been spoken over me by my human authorities, which God had placed over me for good reasons, but somehow the human factor went wrong and Satan was able to manipulate them into cursing me… If it sounds unbelievable to you, then let me remind you of the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit. They were created perfect, but…

The system that God has placed over me, which was intended to be my blessing, was corrupted.

I didn’t recognize these curses in my life that had been supernaturally and invisibly affecting my destiny and sabotaging my best efforts for many years until very recently.

It explained some of my health problems. It explained why I couldn’t focus well and long enough. It exposed the invisible barrier that had been working against me, which I somehow had felt but couldn’t explain over the years.

Because I have gone through so much hardship, I am much more certain that the reality of blessing and curse is very very real. A lot of churches today don’t teach that. Some pastors even speak evil words (curses) over those whom God had put under them, and thus destroyed their destinies and callings. These leaders, authorities, and parents have bloods of the innocences in their hands.

For he will deliver the needy when he cries for help, The afflicted also, and him who has no helper. Psalm 72 :12

He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm worked salvation for him, and his own righteousness sustained him. Isaiah 59:16

For many years, I was affected by curses, without knowing it. Curses also blocked me from receiving major spiritual insights that I needed. Sincerity isn’t enough. Dedication isn’t enough. If a Christian is under curse, things won’t be fair for him or her.

Finally, I think even the Lord was appalled by my situation and He came to my rescue even though I was left to die under curses by humans. He might have waiting for someone to rescue me, but of course if you live in the world long enough you know nowadays many innocent and good people die without anyone rescue them anyway. For example, aborted babies.

At the end, one of my mentors finally said something about curse and I looked that up, and dada! I found it. See below:

Recommended Reading

Deliverance From Demons And Curses

Blessing Or Curse: You Can Choose by Derek Prince (I consider it the best source I have found to date, but you have to buy it from bookstore)

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Tags: blessing, curses, deliverance, self discipline, success

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