Mom was excited and kept saying that dad made her do it when I told her NOT to buy a dog, and that it was a BAD idea.

I didn’t let myself attach to any animal in the house, and I will explain why. However, I do my best to care for and pay attention to each animal, because I feel responsible for their pyschological and physcial need. You either don’t own them at all, or you have to make sure they are happy if they are under your care. But my mom see it as a weakness of mine to torture me with, sadly.

Few months later she kicked that dog in the stomach in front of me. Maybe she didn’t know what she was doing, but subconsciously she did try to hurt me through hurting the dog. She was mad at me for letting him out. He was stressing her out lately b/c he was chewing the dry wall in a couple of places, but it was an easy and cheap fix. (I was aware of her stress, but I figured that the dog won’t go crazy when someone is accompanying him, and she knew that too)

After a few moments of silence and calm, I finally told her it was a felony to abuse animal here in Canada, and a vet might find out what happened to him and report it to the police, and I told her to either give it away or keep it and train it, and that she shouldn’t do something like that in front of me, cuz it was affecting me negatively.

For 2 hours straight afterward I was unable to function or focus at all. I was just laying on the ground in my room not exactly thinking nor feeling anything. I was just not functional.

It was so bad. She has done it to almost every animal we ever owned, and that usually happened right after I expressed affection to them. She was trying to make a statement to me each time, but maybe she didn’t realize it.

Why do I still live with her? I used to think it was biblical to stay with your parents until you marry. I used to think that a single man shouldn’t live on his own, because without family a single man tend to engage in risky behavors, according to study, and it seems wise to save some rent money. To keep myself out of trouble I chose to live with my family. (and the house is expensive, so it would be a waste to treat it like a cottage and only a couple of people live there. My mom isn’t even in Canada half the year) Today I think it permanently changed my belief on this.

This is conditioning. This was how I got conditioned to numb my feelings since very little. I was trained to not let myself attach to anything good. I was trained to not wanting any pet. I was trained to not expecting good things to last. Why? because if I do, something like that will happen to destroy any joy I had. Any happiness will only make it more painful when things break apart, and break apart it will. My entire family always ensured it to end that way. I could almost predict it with 100% accuracy

And did I mention that since little my mom had tried to kick me on the crotch several times too? She couldn’t do that to me cuz I dodged and tighten my legs to avoid getting hurt, so a dog would be an easier target I guess. How emasculating! Dad said I had no balls, and mom tried to kick my balls and my dog’s balls. (what a great way to actualize that curse of my dad. God forbids! but i guess being an enuch can help me better fulfills the career as a doormat that my mom has been training me to be my entire life?)

To rub it in, my younger brother was beating him to “train” him not to bark so my mom would let him stay. What a living hell (my?) dog is going through.

Don’t hate my family though, and I am praying for them. Don’t counter my prayers with any negative intention. We were all sinners at some points in life.

Happy Wednesday-night/Thursday-morning/Thanksgiving my friends!

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The problem was my faith. Passive faith doesn’t work. In fact, my life sometime manifested events and things that were opposite of what God promised in His Words. Later, I discovered that simply by believing in His words mentally and not following them up won’t work. You have to actively pursue the promises of God, and tell your life to align with them.

Romans 8: 31 -39

^“31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?… ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Matthew 11:12

From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

Hebrews 7:11-12

¹²We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Every born again Christian has faith of the size of a mustard seed. The difference is how often we exercise the faith we have. We have the words of God, and we need to reinforce our faith in the promise by confessing it with our mouth and believing it fully in the heart. The circumstance might not fall in line with our faith, and what we need to do is to rebuke the circumstance with the words, until it obeys.

The faith of Jesus spoke only once. Whatever He commanded must obey at ONCE. Our faith might not be as strong as Jesus’, so we need to do it repeatedly until it works. We work our faith until it works. If we are not working it then it won’t work.

Now I decide to be a conqueror for everything that is within my sphere of influence. Everything I see that contradicts with the words of God I will condemn and command. Isn’t it what being a Christian is about?

I will seize income, opportunity, relationship, and all good things I need and see fit, and whoever and whatever stands in my way before my blessings are the mountains. I will not stop before any mountain like I used to. I was too soft, too gullible, and too wimpy. As soon as mountain appears, I politely walked around it or climbed through it in silence, instead of removing it. I interpreted closed doors and missed opportunities as either the will of God, or my own failures. I was too slow to realized that the only person who came to kill, steal, and destroy was Satan, not God. God doesn’t like us to be hindered by obstacles, but to conquer our obstacles.

My only failure was that I didn’t exercise my biblical faith enough.

I am going out to build New Testament Church, and share my thoughts on YouTube and conquer the viewers. I will be servant for many and rule. I will conquer. I will be on top, not bottom! Amen

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It usually takes a while for me to fully confirm that it’s from him. The message might be long and convincing, but at the end it persuades me to doubt His goodness and His promises.

I know I got dozens of unanswered prayers and a lot of sad memories of things that seemed to have gone the opposite of what God promised me in the Bible. Satan has plenty of bullies to use to slander God.

It might have been the 12th time it attacked me since last month.

Here is the list of the attacks:

• If God is so good, then why did He allow the dark age, which for thousands of years, had deprived the people of the Bible and let the Catholic Church to devour the people?
• If God really is faithful, then why didn’t He heal my sickness like He promised in Mark 16 and other many verses?
• If God is real, then why everything seems to go the opposite of what God promised in general?
• If God is so loving, then why did He allow many religions and institutional churches to devour the sheeps?
• If God is loving, then why does He allow wicked people to have the resource to continue their wickedness?
• If God is faithful, why does He keep me under my godless parents financially? Why not demonstrate His faithfulness by having me provide for my family as the only Christian in the family

I don’t know how to answer those questions, but I choose to declare what the Bible says about God. In the name of Jesus Christ, I rebuke Satan and refuse to agree with anything that contradict with God’s words.

I know that true Christians will come to this point like I did, sooner or later in their own pilgrimage. I hope this post will help them deal with it, like I hoped someone had written something that sooth my soul during a time like this.

Remember, don’t let Satan has his way. One third of the angels rebelled God because of his slanders against God. Don’t repeat their mistakes!

True faith is proclaiming God’s word, believing in the heart by conscious choices, regardless of the circumstance, until it manifests.

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The only way for us to figure our future is to figure out our past. A lot of people are believing the governments and policy driven economy. They didn’t know enough about the past to understand the horrors and poverty that central planning political systems have so far created. I don’t have the time here to explain all of it, but I want to talk about the attitude of some Christian in the midst of economic crises for US.

They seem to say things that are basically “I told you so”. They commented about how immoral, overspent, and godless US has become and that financial crisis is judgment from God.

Instead of telling people the truth about the true enemies who caused all these economic problems, they feel vindicated and focus on just that.

We have more Christians today than yesterday. We know more than previous generations do. If anything, the church has only made progress. The kingdom of God is expanding. During economic crisis, we have the risks of going back to the dark age. The governments want to take over, plan everything, and run everything for us. If they succeed, the lost of prosperity and liberty will surely lead to major annihilation and persecution of the true church of God.

This is not a time for us Christians judge and condemn, but to really expose the enemies and the real issue. The enemies are stealing from our economy and use those money to sponsor abortion, pornography, godless legislation, hideous black opts, and dozens of other terrible activities. We use to have men supporting the entire families, then both men and women have to both working to make end meets, and now we have young people in their adults struggling to find jobs. We just cannot afford to let the enemies gain even more grounds.

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Even the movement of a proton is deterministic.

The is a reason for everything. The reason could be good or could be bad. Just because there is a reason for bad thing to happen, doesn’t make it good.

The world we live is more than 3-dimension. But our senses cannot sense beyond the 3rd dimension.

But the Bible says God gives us the task of discerning the reasons behind what is seen:

Ecclesiastes 1:13

¹³And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.

Proverbs 25:2

²It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

A bout of anger, depression, joy, or whatever. An inspiration. An epiphany. A breakthrough. An encounter. Everything has its spiritual root. It can be from the devils, or it can be from God.

I believe that spiritual forces have been shaping our world more than we imagine.

That’s why we have to live by faith, use our discernment instead sights, and receive daily instruction from God to fight the spiritual war.

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We are talking about tons of garbage. Garbage cover the entire floors and give sanctuary to critters.

It’s easy to judge and think that they are crazy, but I can see why they struggle. In their subconsciousness, their garbage means a lot of things to them. They have invested too much sentimental meanings into those garbage to dump them, even if it is hazardous and torturous to their families.

In the logical mind, they see every reason to make things better and stop hoarding, but their heads and hearts could never agree. If they try to dump the garbage, their anxiety level build up. Their breathe get heavy and they start to feel disoriented and depressed.

It’s a supernatural battle. It’s bigger than them.

Some say, dirt has demons, and I feel that is true after watching the show.

How about other struggles, like hoarding other things such as money? Or other disorders or addiction?

I can identify with the hoarders in my own problems. I can understand their anxiety level getting up when try to confront their problems. I have that symptom too when I confront mine. Now I understand it was not that I didn’t want to have my problem solved by taking the logical actions, like for the hoarder to simply dump their garbage, but there was an invisible wall that stood between me and the solutions to my problems.

It was a spiritual warfare.

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Here are some of the demonic strongholds (Lies from demons) I have witnessed in common church setting. I also generalized some discussions I had with certain pastors over the years to sum things up: (I reply in green. If I enclose the green with * *, that means I didn’t really say it out loud. It was in my head. If there is no* but just green, I did say it out loud)

1 Hearing God’s Voice is for special people, or the deceived people.

2 You can’t understand the Bible without going through our approved seminaries, and if you happen to know the Bible very well, you are either Pharisees or you think too much. A lay Christian shouldn’t know his Bible unless he wants to show off.

3 Don’t ask for the gift of Tongue, it’s dangerous.

4 If you sin but you don’t repent, then you are not a Christian to begin with. But you can’t lose your salvation if you are really saved! Pastor, what if I sin and not repent? You can’t!! *So I can sin but I cannot refuse to repent? Why doesn’t God work me the other way around so I can’t sin but can repent?*

5 Go see a psychiatrist if you have any sign of mental problem. Don’t come to me! Thinking too much about bible prophecies is a sign of mental problem. A normal Christian won’t think about anything in the Bible as much as you. They don’t ask these question! You must have a problem.

6 Your parents’ sin, generational curses (What!?), or verbal curse don’t affect you in any way

7 If you believe otherwise on #6, then you are deceived by the Pentecostal.

8 No one ask for help to cast out demons in this church, so there are no demons in our church. *Who are going to ask for help if you will either label us as being deceived by the Pentecostal or send us to the doctor?*

9 If you tell me a Christian is demonized (demons live in him), then he must be weak in faith. But since no one ask for help, no one has demon in this church. *So no one in your church is weak in faith in your church then? All elites, wohoo! But how come I don’t see anyone moving the mountain or healing any disease in your church if everyone is strong in faith?*

10 Re:#4, but pastor! I know so and so, they did this and this but they don’t repent. Pastor: They are not Christians to begin with! Pastor, more than 90% of Christian brother watch porn… and more than half the church sin and not repent. Rationalization and refusal to repent are so common! I don’t know about this. No one told me that.

11. If you belong to a church fellowship group, attend every Sunday service and Sunday school, then you are doing fine. But pastor, like I said in #10, 90% of brothers watch porn or many sin without repentant even though they did the whole nine yards you told them to Pastor: They are not real Christian then. But they believe the Bible cover to cover! It’s just head knowledge!! Head knowledge doesn’t make a person a real Christian!!

12 Re:#11 I did all you have taught me to do, but I still struggle with this, this, and that sins. What’s my problem? My buddies sin too but some of them don’t repent for a long time. Pastor: Doing good works doesn’t mean you guys are real Christians!! All you have are just head knowledge, not genuine experience with God! *I guess I am going to be labeled as a false Christian if I keep asking…*

13: Re: #12 But why do I still struggle with sins after I repent? What if I can’t stop myself and one day fall into a heavier sin? Pastor: A mature person won’t ask that question!

14 The more money you have the more sorrowful you will become. But the Old Testament says God loves to bless us with prosperity! Pastor: Old Testament is in the past. We are in the New Testament era.

15 God doesn’t guarantee your Christian life will be dandy, rich, peaceful, successful… But Pastor, my life sucks too much, walking around poor and fail everything, *something must be wrong with our teaching* The Bible never guarantee your life will be happy and easy!!! But Pastor, the Old Testament says… (back to #14)

16 If it’s God will, brother Ken’s will recover from cancer. But brother, what’s God’s will? Typical Christian: Who am I to say?

17 If you don’t devote your entire days to do job search *randomly like God has nothing to say about your career* just like everyone does, but take time to pray and seek God’s will for your job and wait for Him to speak before you take any job, then you are lazy. God doesn’t talk to His people which job to take, it’s too small for Him. *Go back to #1*

18 Stop talking about the Bible so much and asking pointy questions about it, don’t talk to people about these things, otherwise you can’t bring them to the church because they would think you are weird. Talk about “casual” things instead.

19 Christians are supposed to be poor and lowly. Get a 9-5 jobs so you can fit in with our church. 90% of our church members are 9-5 employees, who are you to think that you are called to start a business? Don’t be too ambitious and conceited! *Update: Now that I think of #11, maybe 90% of our church members aren’t even Christians!* Don’t forget that “I told you so”, your so called entrepreneurial projects will fail in two years and you will get stuck at where you are now. See what happen after 2 years at #34

20 Don’t mention demons. Why ALWAYS [loud] talk about demons? You are worshiping Satan if you talk about him SO MUCH! Just talk about Jesus!

21 This is the New testament era. The Old Testament was past and it was so difficult to read. Let’s just stick with the New Testament in our Bible Study.

22 The Old Testament was in the past. The Four Gospels were before Jesus’ crucifixion, and Revelation is about the future, so let just focus on the New Testament books that remain.

23 Don’t talk about the Bible too much in the church, it’s too heavy for lay Christians. Let’s balance our prayers and Bible studies with fun activities.

24. Re#5 But pastor, I thought we are supposed to pray and read the Bible to find out the cure from God if we have any problem with our mental health? It has nothing to do with prayers. Don’t talk to your therapists about the Bible.

25. Idols, statues, charm, and occult objects of any kind cannot affect you in any way. We are Christians. We can put any object in our home, even if it has spell on it. Go watch any horror movies if you want, The Exorcist, Harry Potter, whatever. They have no ill effect on us! *But Pastor! Some people saw real demons and real occult magic in these things? If they have no ill effect, why would Satan put these real evil messages in them? Stop talking about Satan! You are worshiping demons if you talk about him too much!! *Back to #20

26. Re:#4 But pastor, like I told you in #15 I walk around poor, I just don’t have money to see doctor, therapists, and psychiatrists. Pastor: …

27. Regular fasting is legalistic. It hurts your body. Regular fasting is just good work, it might not help you spiritually. So what helps? I did everything you told me but still struggle with sins. Pastor: … [Repeat what he says in #11, 12, 28, 29]

28. Don’t talk to me about the problem of porn or MASTURBATION! [I used a tiny voice when I say "masturbation", but he increased his volume when he mentioned the word "masturbation" even though some Christians sisters are chatting next door "SO YOU MASTURBATE?" thanks Pastor!] Don’t you know it’s wrong to walk around and ask EVERYONE question like this? *But Pastor, when did I ask EVERYONE this question? I was asking you*

29. You sin because you choose to sin. Addiction is an illusion, an excuse!

30. Re: #3 If people in this church have gift of tongue, fine, but don’t use it in church meeting because it would disrupt others. No one know what they talk about if they speak in tongue. *Can’t we design some programs and meeting that allow people to pray in tongue? Why should we restrain the gift of God to accommodate the tradition of men? Why don’t we seek gift of Interpretation so we can interpret the tongue? Won’t they disrupt others if they pray in tongue at home* [Too bad I didn't think of this rebuttal at the time]

31 People won’t read your Christian blog, because you are not a certified, approved-seminary trained pastor! See #2 But pastor, I got 2000 visitor per month and it’s only beginning. People don’t care who you are as long as what you write is good. Pastor: …

32 Stop writing journal about your walk with God, it only make you think even more (See #5), go see a doctor instead and don’t forget #24. You have already mentioned prophecy, salvation, church living, demons, and the whole nine yards in such a short meeting with me. All you talk about is pointy question. People would think you are weird.  See? you have a problem. (Go to #18)

33 Re:#26 You walk around poor because you lack focus. You think about the whole nine yards in #32 too much that you fail to land and keep a good job!!!

34 Pastor! 2 years ago you said that all my entrepreneurial projects will fail. They failed! What do you think? *Now I had failed to make 1 cent from most of them. Only one project made me $3.17 and I can’t even cash it in. Even my younger brother did much better than that, I guess it’s because he doesn’t have a pastor who cursed him with Pastoral authority. He doesn’t go to church. Curses are real! (See #6)*  Pastor: [sheepishly, with a "gentle, kind, typical pastor look" expression on his face] Give it another try! Me: …

35. Re# 27 Since I can’t find the answers from you in #11, 12, 27, 28, 29, I went out and read such and such books. I sensed that the Holy Spirit was leading me to read those books. What do you think about their teaching? You are doing too much that you confused yourself… [repeating #32]…and remember head knowledge doesn’t help you! [repeating #12]… but if you do the list on #11 within our church you will be fine… those books you read were written by famous preachers… On the judgment day you will see many nameless pastors, evangelists, and ministers who will get their rewards in heaven.. *So that means you are one of those nameless pastors then?… hm… I also read of many testimonies by Christians whom God had led to heaven and hell, and they reported that many pastors ended up in Hell even though they believed in #4 …hm… *

36. So few people come to our prayer meeting! *you forbid praying in tongue (#30), you refuse to pray for healing (#16), you discourage us from praying for prosperity (#14), you discourage us from battling demons (#20), you don’t let us confess our sins (#28), we don’t even know whether fasting or prayers is useful (#27), you say prayers are useless for psychological problems (#24), you don’t let us keep watch and prepare for the end time (#5), you tell us not to seek God’s face (#37), and you told us not to seek God’s will on something that occupies us 8 hours per day 40 hours a week such as career (#17), then why should I go to your prayer meeting? *

37. Don’t seek God’s face. If He shows up, you will either drop dead on the spot or you will be bossed around by Him so much you would rather die.

Conclusion:

I am lucky that I am in an evangelical church. If I have been in the medieval Catholic Church, they would have labelled me as heretic and burn me on the stake for criticizing the church.

Demonic lies are everywhere.

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The book talks about how a pastor and his small church had prayed for 30 nights in 2005. They encountered demons, many many demons, met Jesus frequently, visited heaven and hell, protected by angels, and received gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Half of the church had their spiritual eyes opened, so they could literally see the spiritual realm, and what they described about what were really going on spiritually matched what I read from other testimonies of Christians who had visited heaven and hell, battled with demons, and met God.

They couldn’t have been making it all up, because the experience of this little Korean church couldn’t have so many similarities with other testimonies from around the globe if they were lying. And I found no direct conflicts of their experience and theology with the Bible.

It really deepened the understanding of my own Christian walk. The branches of Christianity I have been part of had been under-educated in demonology, and as a result so many of us are defenseless against demons and Satan.

It enlightened me why I have lost so many battles in the past, even though I have done almost everything I have been taught by every great Christian book and every pastor I could get access of.

My teachers simply didn’t teach me that our entire sky is literally clouded with demons of every kind, and no ray of light could pass through the demonic wall, if you see it with your spiritual eyes. That’s how dire our situation is!

No matter what you do, Satan can simply send a couple of demons to harass you so much that you fail, and foil your effort in every way, without you ever discover the cause of your misfortune. And if you ever rebuke a demon or two in the name of Jesus, Satan simply send a dozen more, and more as needed.

They could keep coming at you day in and night out until you get exhausted.

The little Korean Church had battled thousands, and later thousand of thousands of demons that had been sent their way to knock out their ministry, trying to prevent them from publish the books.

Even some of the most demonologically educated branches of Christianity couldn’t match the power of this ministry of “Baptize By Blazing Fire”, because none of the teaching actually describe the reality of our situation by physically seeing the demons that are working against us.

To really win the battle, one or two rebuke or binding Satan in the name of Jesus Christ aren’t enough. You knock out the low ranking demons, and the stronger one will come, and more and more of them will reinforce the battle until they overwhelm you.

Without the spiritual eyes opened, one can wonder why rebuking Satan in the name of Jesus Christ doesn’t seem to work, while in reality, you are battling hundreds of demons, so one or two rebukes are never enough.

It really take advanced spiritual tactics, knowledge, and weapons to win the battles.

I am convinced that if you can’t hear directly from Jesus and see Him frequently, you can’t truly win the battles.

Since I started to do self-deliverance from generational curses and spirits, I discovered there were retaliation from kingdom of Satan. Some were like demons influencing my humans authorities to curse me.

Another evidence was, my younger brother was hearing strange noise in my room these days when I was not there. It could be my guardian angels, however, because I have been releasing angelic protection around the premises recently.

One afternoon in about a month or two ago, I was napping, and just when I was waking up I couldn’t move but I was hearing loud noises of someone banging the door of my bedroom and stomping in. I saw a being in my vision who appeared in the form of my mother, wearing a white robe that angel wear but my real mom doesn’t have robe like that, and “it” stared down at me without saying a word. A split second later, I was able to open my eyes and stand up but saw no one in my room, all was quiet.

I am sure it was a demon, but I was not scared. It could be a demon that had been feeding on my ancestor’s curse line, which I recently broke and it could be angry about the fact that I broke the curse in the name of Jesus Christ.

If you ever become a God lover, Satan has you on his hit list.

He will use all kind of tricks on his hand book to try to destroy your fruitfulness as God’s children.

But we have to get better in the things of God anyway, because there is no better alternative, the only alternative is hell. Generally, Satan doesn’t attack someone who is already heading hell.

I re-discovered from the book the importance of kneeling and praying aloud with my hand lift up. I used to do that in my first few years since I’d been going to church.

I never felt into sleep that way, but since I do contemplative prayer more and more I fell into sleep during prayer often.

Satan deceived me and made me think that it didn’t matter as long as I remain prayerful all day long. One or two nap wouldn’t hurt, Satan says.

But no, we have to pray with our hand lift up and pray aloud if we could. As long as there is no one near by who may be disturbed by out loud prayer, we should pray in that mode.

30 nights of prayers in that form literally help that little Korean church experience victory over the devils and Satan himself, and receive many gifts from heaven.

I am reinstating this kind of prayer as frequent as I can. I think I will experience the same things soon.

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