Related posts:

1. Extensive ADHD Test http://www.fmsnutrition.com/adhd_self_testing_or_test.htm ...
2. Signs and Incidents that Shred Light on My Conditions Avoidance of going back to Hong Kong Avoidance of tasks...
3. What a Life of Suffering for ADHD Sufferer Having an ADHD makes everything hard. It impacts every area...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Avoidance of tasks that require stable focus

Comments from my driving instructor/coach

Comments about my lack of cohesiveness and timing during conversation

I told Jessica Yu’s mom about my lack of focus during workplace and she recommended me to see professional but I didn’t

Always made a blunder in Second Cup and Fish and Chips

Messed up with Hugo Lam Uncle’s model and then more

Couldn’t complete a finanical form in Primerica

Couldn’t get things organized

Stretch out assignment and take a whole day to finish a simple form, task, or assignment

Takes a while to realize people are talking to me

Focus quite well one day and the next few days decline sharply, and the next few days unable to function

Basketball only perform well for a while, and then not anymore

Always have several ideas at the time and always have to think through every thought to connect them

Pastor Cheung told me to get a doctor!

Bobby Tan and Geoncarlo both commented that I didn’t seem so focus.

Always make a blunder when filling out long forms.

May Lok commented I looked silly on the outside but wise on the inside.

Evaluation from Federation of Students Suzanne Burdett

Imprints reported my performance that hints at my conditions.

Often implusively talk and make implusive decisions to take long walks with Gary Kong

Often seek instant gratification and easily get bored

Have hyperfocus/addictions

Can’t pray for long or falling asleep

Have urges

Related posts:

1. Good Forum for ADHD feelings Sharing http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52874&page=7 ...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

When I consciously create rooms, good stuff is able to fill it. From now on when you have important projects to complete, then empty yourself and your schedule. Make it so boring that you want to desperately want to do something. And make that project so inconsequencial so that you are not intimidated to do it, and then you will do it.

This is how to become diligent?

Do not time box your day so much that you are always think about the next thing to do. Do not look for distractions to feel productive while being intimidated by the project you actually want to do, and then you will do it without procrastination.

Learn to consciously dissociate the fears from the project in question, and make your heart glad that you have something to do or you will become so bored. Tend to your spiritual and psychological need by spending time with God and yourself, letting your heart and mind know that it’s okay, it’s safe, it’s fun to do what you actually wants to do.
Make it a goal to only create room for the thing you want to do, otherwise do nothing so that it becomes so bored you prefer to do that.

Related posts:

1. Empty the Mind to Focus Create room in the mind for certain things, and it...
2. Joy, Stress, Sin, Addiction, Time-wasters, and Relaxation I am creating room for success by inviting more joys,...
3. Loving Thoughts Are Crucial You have heard of positive thinking, but love includes all...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Loving thoughts are not abusive. They believe in the best, are hopeful, and they believe.

One abusive thought, and it will lead to chaos of the mind and heart. It unbalances the emotions and focus.

To have pure focus, loving thoughts are important.

When I study, I found out a lot of abusive thoughts pattern. It leads to waste time. When I become willing to love myself, I start to become more productive and energetic.

Love gives me more energy. It protects me from mood swings, and preserve energy.

Related posts:

1. Take a Day Off Every 2 or 3 days. Work hard and non-stop on...
2. Create Rooms Emty the Mind I found that when I create room in the mind...
3. Joy, Stress, Sin, Addiction, Time-wasters, and Relaxation I am creating room for success by inviting more joys,...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

We are talking about tons of garbage. Garbage cover the entire floors and give sanctuary to critters.

It’s easy to judge and think that they are crazy, but I can see why they struggle. In their subconsciousness, their garbage means a lot of things to them. They have invested too much sentimental meanings into those garbage to dump them, even if it is hazardous and torturous to their families.

In the logical mind, they see every reason to make things better and stop hoarding, but their heads and hearts could never agree. If they try to dump the garbage, their anxiety level build up. Their breathe get heavy and they start to feel disoriented and depressed.

It’s a supernatural battle. It’s bigger than them.

Some say, dirt has demons, and I feel that is true after watching the show.

How about other struggles, like hoarding other things such as money? Or other disorders or addiction?

I can identify with the hoarders in my own problems. I can understand their anxiety level getting up when try to confront their problems. I have that symptom too when I confront mine. Now I understand it was not that I didn’t want to have my problem solved by taking the logical actions, like for the hoarder to simply dump their garbage, but there was an invisible wall that stood between me and the solutions to my problems.

It was a spiritual warfare.

Related posts:

1. Good Article for MJ on Learned Hopelessness http://www.thisisawar.com/DepressionLearned.htm ...
2. Tempted to Hate God These days are difficult. Incomeless for 5 years and in...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Luke 10:38-42

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus want us to choose what is better. I used to see this spiritual lesson as white and black – either we are too busy for Jesus, or we are too focus on Him to be of any practical use to the world, but now I understand that God want us to have revelation and instruction from Him every time we do anything in this physical realm.

Physical realm and spiritual realm overlap each other. I didn’t fully realize that before. Therefore I had never been fully present in either realms.

The best time management is to do the most important things right the first time. How do we do that? By listening to God’s voice and do what He said. See, the merge of spiritual and practical!

It would take a lot of time to pray and listen. It takes a lot of time to see with the inner eyes. Once we see it, we should keep digging into that truth and implement it. Soon, that truth will set us free, but it takes major time out of every usual busy day.

However, looking back, I think I have gone through a lot of unnecessary busyness and hardship because I didn’t really bring my daily matter to God— to let Him triage my minutiae and urgency. Let Him tell me what are the top priorities are for the day.

Take major time to seek God’s will and God’s solution on things, and you will save big time.

Let see how the worldly people make it in life: the super wealthy and successful people. They know their priority. They know their strength. They ignore what is unnecessary and do the main things right.

We as children of God have the privilege to let God do this high level decision making for us. If we allow Him to choose our priority, show us our gifts, and do only what He wants us to do, we will always have the money, time, and energy to do what He wants us to do.

If we don’t seek God’s will, if we are self-centered, and if we try to do what worldly people do best, then we can never do better than them. You can’t put new wine in old wineskins (Luke 5:36-39)

Related posts:

1. Books I Want to Review The School of the Seers: A Practical Guide on How...
2. Blessing for Time Management In the name of Jesus Christ, I proclaim that the...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Going through the notes reminded me of what I had been going through each semester.

I found that my college life was a long, dark tunnel of repeated academic mediocrity, financial dependency, disorganization, depression, betrayal and broken promises from friends, suicidal thoughts…

I noted how I had been trying to improve some of my academic weakness such as focus and self-discipline, and I had been seeking hard after God for spiritual insights that can change my situations, but looking back I could see a lot of unanswered prayers over a long period of time.

I joined a network marketing company at some point during the dark period because I yearned for a positive environment, instead I got manipulated by legalistic, and even some of the very negative people I had ever known. My upline cursed me. (The NM representative who recruits you is called upline and you are his downline)

I failed internship in college. I failed even music courses. I manged to be a survivor in my program (math), but merely surviving. I felt as though I had studied nothing at all. What I learned didn’t help me land a meaningful job, nor was it useful for anything.

I had wanted to quit all my addictions and bad habits since DAY 1 of my college years, but by the end of college I acquired some more.

I dedicated my marriage into God’s hand and had a big dream, but it got broken, shredded, and at the end it felt like a sharp knife piercing into my heart many times.

I found shames and forlornness, instead of the wonderful, romantic dream being fulfilled. My story was worst than those who practiced casual dating.

Every time there was a breakthrough and passing of a test, I was soon being thrown back into many many times more confusion, walking in circles instead of continual breakthrough that I need to complete my quests, and frustrations.

I had dedicated my firstfruit to God, but I didn’t receive the harvest in return. I was kept in poverty. I spent the best chunk of my time to seek God, but suffered guilt, mediocrity, and defeats for the rest of the time.

But I thank God for that. Am I crazy? No.

I thank God because I learned something important through the ordeals.

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. Psalm 119:71

If I had been blessed with an easier life, and a straight path to success, I wouldn’t have learned to fear the word of God, and the reality of blessing and curse. I wouldn’t have been as passionate as I am now to teach this principle to others, and set them free with this truth.

I was cursed because of my ancestors’ sins, and I was also cursed because of every evil word that had been spoken over me by my human authorities, which God had placed over me for good reasons, but somehow the human factor went wrong and Satan was able to manipulate them into cursing me… If it sounds unbelievable to you, then let me remind you of the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit. They were created perfect, but…

The system that God has placed over me, which was intended to be my blessing, was corrupted.

I didn’t recognize these curses in my life that had been supernaturally and invisibly affecting my destiny and sabotaging my best efforts for many years until very recently.

It explained some of my health problems. It explained why I couldn’t focus well and long enough. It exposed the invisible barrier that had been working against me, which I somehow had felt but couldn’t explain over the years.

Because I have gone through so much hardship, I am much more certain that the reality of blessing and curse is very very real. A lot of churches today don’t teach that. Some pastors even speak evil words (curses) over those whom God had put under them, and thus destroyed their destinies and callings. These leaders, authorities, and parents have bloods of the innocences in their hands.

For he will deliver the needy when he cries for help, The afflicted also, and him who has no helper. Psalm 72 :12

He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm worked salvation for him, and his own righteousness sustained him. Isaiah 59:16

For many years, I was affected by curses, without knowing it. Curses also blocked me from receiving major spiritual insights that I needed. Sincerity isn’t enough. Dedication isn’t enough. If a Christian is under curse, things won’t be fair for him or her.

Finally, I think even the Lord was appalled by my situation and He came to my rescue even though I was left to die under curses by humans. He might have waiting for someone to rescue me, but of course if you live in the world long enough you know nowadays many innocent and good people die without anyone rescue them anyway. For example, aborted babies.

At the end, one of my mentors finally said something about curse and I looked that up, and dada! I found it. See below:

Recommended Reading

Deliverance From Demons And Curses

Blessing Or Curse: You Can Choose by Derek Prince (I consider it the best source I have found to date, but you have to buy it from bookstore)

Related posts:

1. What a Life of Suffering for ADHD Sufferer Having an ADHD makes everything hard. It impacts every area...
2. Life Is A Riddle Since I don’t like my life, I had to figure...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

James 3:2-4 says,  “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.”

Mark 11: 20-24 And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.

After reading some of Charles Capps‘ teaching on the power of spoken words, I learned to master my body and it’s sexual desire through the power of tongue.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, I started to speak the words of faith to my mind, spirit, and body.

It doesn’t matter whether you feel the promises of God are working. As long as you know the Holy Spirit give you a verse, you speak it. The faith that is contained in the word of God will be released as you speak it and it will deliver 10 out of 1o!!!

You may feel tempted. You may feel guilty. You may feel like sinning. It doesn’t matter. Feeling change, but the words of God remain true all the time. The words that you declare will give you faith and grace. The words will accomplish what they are supposed to accomplish.

As long as my tongue is controlled by the Holy Spirit; i.e. I yielded my tongue to the Spirit. The power of words will work to sustain me.

I felt tempted several times in the last few days, including today, but I didn’t fell into lust. I felt the temptations. I felt like I was going to sin in seconds. But every time the temptations got dissolved.

As long as you tongue is controlled, your whole body is controlled!!!

I no longer describe the power of sin. I no longer talk about my past defeat. I no longer probe into the details of my sinful records and ask God or others, “why did I sin…?” To do that is in fact giving sin power over self. Words have power. Whatever you say, if you put faith in it, it will be done for you!!

If you put your faith in doubts, and you speak the words of doubts, you doubts will manifest and you will continue to doubts. If you ignore your feeling and just speak the words of God, the words of God will manifest.

From now on, speak Romans 6-8 and other relevant verses about self-control, purity, death to sins, etc. And you will start to experience the reality of God’s word.

Related posts:

1. I Sense The Holy Spirit Again! I mean, Holy Spirit hasn’t made me so busy  for...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

There were many things I found questionable and a waste of time. I had many things I saw as sins and tried to refrain myself from doing.

The more I tried to have self-control, however, the more I fell off the wagon. Over and over again I was guilt-ridden.

Later I compromised. Rather than restricting myself from doing them at all, I tried to minimize them. After trying this approach for a few years it didn’t really work that well. I still felt guilty deep underneath, although I became more optimistic due to my mind bypassing many mistakes instead of condemning myself every time I fell.

Soon I watched all episodes of Naruto and many others manga series, even the hentai.

Followed by that, I ’stole’ manga from the Internet. I was drown in sins.

Over the years, I have watched plenty of movies, manga, even sensual programs.

How did I end up like this? My faith over the year didn’t seem to grow in this area, but had in fact seemed declined.

I remembered how I used to recite Romans 6-8 while resisting the temptation from a friend to watch Naruto. It was 4 years ago.

Later I even watched porns and got addicted into something worst than my previous addiction of gaming.

My prediction of the consequence for lack of discipline has seemed to come to fruition – career, education, relationship, health, and etc.

Related posts:

1. Loving Thoughts Are Crucial You have heard of positive thinking, but love includes all...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

If He tells you to read the Bible now, don’t say you are too busy that you will do it later. Quench the Spirit once, and you will open up to sins. His power in you will diminish, so when you sin don’t complain that the “law of the Spirit of Life” (Romans 8:2) fails to sustain you.

If you think you are going to do something innocent, but the Spirit warn you right there, don’t do it.

A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. Proverbs 16:9

I always do it anyways, and that supposedly innocent act would lead to another less innocent act, which leads to another, then another, until I am drowned in sins.

There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 16:25

There Is No Formula

It’s so simple! So simple that I miss it so many time: there’s no formula to a disciplined, highly productive life. The fundamentals are clear: Holy Spirit, obedience, God’s words, grace.

Everything we often feel lacking such as victory from sins and bad habits, success in life, and everything else we often pray for and question about can find answers and lasting solution from the same fundamentals.

But I couldn’t see it that way before. When I used to be depressive, I asked God why I prayed so hard and depression wouldn’t leave me? Answer: I forgot to do the obvious: capture my thoughts and let God speak to my mind; give thanks for what I have; forget what is behind and go after what is before me. It was that simple.

I asked God: why my schoolwork suffered, and the fact that I had prayed so many times about it didn’t improve it? The answer: I didn’t follow God’s prompting when He asked me to just sit down and do the school works there and then. Instead, I think about depressive thoughts when it was time to study and believed in those lies that made me depressed, instead of simply followed God’s prompting to sit down and study. I made elaborate study plan and schedule, and tried to study the way other people do, instead of following the voice of the Holy Spirit to simplify things and do what obviously can improve my marks instantly, i.e. to practice more questions and refer to the answers keys if I get stuck, math is simply about how many questions you can solve.

I asked God: Why I lacked discipline, and many prayers over the years didn’t solve this problem? The answer: I focused too much on the worldly perception of what “real work” is! Do I really need to spend hours on school or career daily in order to be qualified as “disciplined”?

Simply follow the Holy Spirit, if He tells you to give up your busy life and to go pray and worship 80% of the time, then do it! If He tells you to stop working so hard, and sit down to compose a song for Him, do it. If He tells you to leave the office and go share the good news with someone, or just go take a long walk, do it!

I asked God: Why I always sin and this addiction pains me so much and after many prayers I still can’t see deliverance? The answer: Can you expect to live a sinless life without active, moment by moment reliance on God? You must follow the lead of the Holy Spirit! And you must believe in God’s word in order to claim the blessings it promised.

Conclusion

If you get stuck with a problem for too long, stop following the world’s solution, simply listen to the inner voices of the Spirit. Just because everybody does it the same way, doesn’t mean it’s right.

Related posts:

1. I Sense The Holy Spirit Again! I mean, Holy Spirit hasn’t made me so busy  for...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.