Play time is important

Smile is healthy

Laugher to cure diseases

lots of miracles sharing

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-More optimistic

-Everything has its good side

-Each strategy takes time and each is imperfect

-Don’t give up prior to reaching the thersold to success

-Success and excellence sometimes don’t match

-Don’t traumatize yourself.

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All these years, I imagined many things that I thought God has told me. I thought the hardships that I have been through have meanings, or spiritual lessons to be learned from, and I thought I have learned something spiritual each time.

Now I learned I really haven’t learned as much as I imagined. I am going through multiple crises of faith right now, because suddenly, I realized the God that I have loved so much didn’t really talk to me the way I imagined He did, and He didn’t really do for me many of the things that I imagined He would do for me.

12 years of going to church, and I found out that I had been somewhat deceived and distracted by human doctrines and traditions, instead of believing the plain, obvious meaning of the words of God.

If you have read my previous journal entries, you know I have faced evil circumstances and string of negative experiences that I didn’t really think I deserved. Churchy people would say things like, “Oh! God didn’t promise the sky always blue!” “Whatever happens is God’s will!”

No, evil isn’t God’s will. It’s Satan’s will. For example, I noticed that many Christians are going through tragedies that the Bible says God would protect them from, such as premature death from murder or terminal diseases. What’s the deal here?
I believe they were like me. We assumed that if we have a relationship with God, then everything will be in God’s hands.

This is such a un-biblical belief. I think the correct belief is God wants us to fight. He wants us to use the Bible to remind Him of His promises, and certainly to remind Satan of the truth just like Jesus did (Luke 4:1-13).

Also, the correct thing to do is to command the evil circumstance to work for you instead of against you. I have put up with evil circumstance for so long and so many times before, because I didn’t know I could have rebuked it like Jesus did in Matthew 8:23-27.

Don’t ever imagine God has something secretive to teach you for allowing you to go through evil. The only lesson to be learned from confronting evil is to conquer it, turn it away, or cast it out with faith. The major thing you will develop from going through evil is faith, and it’s conquering faith. Faith that doesn’t produce good results isn’t faith. Most institutional churches don’t teach biblical faith, but they teach another kind of faith that doesn’t produce.

Don’t put up with misfortune, mediocrity, postponement, disease, poverty, failures, or whatever adversity and call them God’s will. God’s will is always to heal, prosper, liberate, promote, and all kind of other good things. God is good all the time.

If God already tells you His will in plain words of the Bible, don’t ever ask Him for more “revelation”, because He already revealed enough for you to understand it. If you don’t believe or obey it, then you are sinning. You start to make things up about God. You will over-spiritualize the scriptures and read into it meanings that it doesn’t have.

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The only way for us to figure our future is to figure out our past. A lot of people are believing the governments and policy driven economy. They didn’t know enough about the past to understand the horrors and poverty that central planning political systems have so far created. I don’t have the time here to explain all of it, but I want to talk about the attitude of some Christian in the midst of economic crises for US.

They seem to say things that are basically “I told you so”. They commented about how immoral, overspent, and godless US has become and that financial crisis is judgment from God.

Instead of telling people the truth about the true enemies who caused all these economic problems, they feel vindicated and focus on just that.

We have more Christians today than yesterday. We know more than previous generations do. If anything, the church has only made progress. The kingdom of God is expanding. During economic crisis, we have the risks of going back to the dark age. The governments want to take over, plan everything, and run everything for us. If they succeed, the lost of prosperity and liberty will surely lead to major annihilation and persecution of the true church of God.

This is not a time for us Christians judge and condemn, but to really expose the enemies and the real issue. The enemies are stealing from our economy and use those money to sponsor abortion, pornography, godless legislation, hideous black opts, and dozens of other terrible activities. We use to have men supporting the entire families, then both men and women have to both working to make end meets, and now we have young people in their adults struggling to find jobs. We just cannot afford to let the enemies gain even more grounds.

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We completely agreed that this opportunity manifested because of our word of faith. If we had been negative, we wouldn’t had encountered this opportunity.

So we went to work on setting up shop to sell this product for about a week, and then I got sick for a few days and things got slowed down a bit as the project was getting finished. There was a spiritual warfare going on, which I believed was Satan trying to sabotage our project and made us doubt.

Things looked bright though. When I was sick I just kept on visualizing the prospect of developing something big, something comprehensive, for God online. Basically, me and my friend will be building more income-generating assets like this one we were doing, and start creating Youtube videos, article marketing campaigns, and other online and offline marketing outlets to market our Lord Jesus Christ and the full Gospel.

Full Gospel means the whole truth, not some “once saved always saved” or “find a local church and just join them and you will be fine” kind of well-intended deceptions.

It also includes miracle healing and deliverance from evil spirits.

That’s the long term goal. Let’s go back to our small project to sell this product online.

In this project, we learned one important thing — make your project doable and manageable within a reasonable time frame. While we should dream big, we should always partition our dream into manageable, achievable, implementable, measurable, and profitable portions. Don’t shoot for the star right from the start.

Another thing is, focus. Don’t jump from one project to another before the first one is built and running. Create a project that give you momentum to achieve more for the next ones. If it’s an asset, then make sure it generates ongoing income first. Don’t starve yourself by doing one gigantic project that won’t see result until a year later.

Third is, take actions. Accept the fact that every action involve some risk and opportunity cost. But the biggest risk is spending time doing nothing that lead to income.

After you settle for the best choice you can find within a reasonable time frame, just do it. Stop looking around for greener pasture. Just finish the project you have on hand. Don’t keep studying and practicing but do nothing that directly lead to income. You must stop studying and researching at certain point. If you really have to spend a long time on research because the project is much bigger than you can handle with the knowledge and skill you already have, then it’s too big for you, go back to the first lesson I just shared.

When you get your first project running, then you have the feedback and experience which you can build upon for the next one.

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Did God not care about my success? Satan wants us to think that way.

Tonight I am studying an exam. Every practice question was painful to go through.

I am going to be a math teacher.

Maybe God wants me to understand something here. Maybe He is trying to show me that there is spiritual warfare behind each tiny step toward my calling in life?

It was so painful.

9 years of financial and career failures: unemployment, incomeless, and debt. Why? It’s mystery. Mystery is such a burden. (Ecc 1:13)

I “am” miserable. Misery makes me distracted and addicted to sinful pleasure to medicate myself.

Then God brought me to rememberance of some of my past sin: When I was in the internship program in my Uni year I “cursed” a potential employer because he showed up late. I “cursed” professor of a statistic class because I couldn’t understand what she was saying.

Then I failed the internship program, and later my GPA, especially for the statistic courses, never went higher than 70 in my whole University years. I barely got my honor degree.

I reaped the fruits of my mouth.

Proverbs 18:20

²⁰A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.

Psalm 34:12-16

¹²What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?

¹³Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

¹⁴Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

¹⁵The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

¹⁶The face of the LORD is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

The pains I was going through tonight caused suicidal thoughts to resurface.

It’s all good. I am repenting of my past sins here. Just some old baggage to deal with.

Relevant Read:

Idle Word Loses Life

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What kept me from doing so was because I didn’t have knowledge of the effectiveness of fasting specifically for the eternal destiny of a loved one’s . But last week I finished reading 2 books by Derek Prince in a Christian bookstore, and I was convicted by his teaching to fast for my family.

So last Wednesday I fasted for my mom, and tonight I am just starting to fast for my dad. The order was of some importance. I dreamed last week that my mom suddenly dropped dead, after we had tea and had a not so pleasant conversation about my jobless situation.

In my dream I was very upset for her death. I mourned because I knew she was going to Hell right after her last breath and she still hadn’t seen God’s deliverance for my financial situation yet. How I longed for the glory of God to be revealed in my family!

I refuse to let any of my family member die before they see the glory of God and invite Him to be their Lord and Savor.

I thank God for His prophetic warning and so I fasted for my mom, praying for her eternal destiny by asking God to lead her to repentance and be born again.

Tonight not only am I going to pray for my dad for the same thing, I am actually going to proclaim that I am going to prosper and his business dwindle. (He makes a living by providing folkloric funeral service as a pagan priest)

There is great power in the tongue. God created it for us to use it.

I bless my father so that his business will dwindle while I prosper, so he can retire soon and God can provide for my family through me, and they will see God demonstrating His power.

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Here are some of the demonic strongholds (Lies from demons) I have witnessed in common church setting. I also generalized some discussions I had with certain pastors over the years to sum things up: (I reply in green. If I enclose the green with * *, that means I didn’t really say it out loud. It was in my head. If there is no* but just green, I did say it out loud)

1 Hearing God’s Voice is for special people, or the deceived people.

2 You can’t understand the Bible without going through our approved seminaries, and if you happen to know the Bible very well, you are either Pharisees or you think too much. A lay Christian shouldn’t know his Bible unless he wants to show off.

3 Don’t ask for the gift of Tongue, it’s dangerous.

4 If you sin but you don’t repent, then you are not a Christian to begin with. But you can’t lose your salvation if you are really saved! Pastor, what if I sin and not repent? You can’t!! *So I can sin but I cannot refuse to repent? Why doesn’t God work me the other way around so I can’t sin but can repent?*

5 Go see a psychiatrist if you have any sign of mental problem. Don’t come to me! Thinking too much about bible prophecies is a sign of mental problem. A normal Christian won’t think about anything in the Bible as much as you. They don’t ask these question! You must have a problem.

6 Your parents’ sin, generational curses (What!?), or verbal curse don’t affect you in any way

7 If you believe otherwise on #6, then you are deceived by the Pentecostal.

8 No one ask for help to cast out demons in this church, so there are no demons in our church. *Who are going to ask for help if you will either label us as being deceived by the Pentecostal or send us to the doctor?*

9 If you tell me a Christian is demonized (demons live in him), then he must be weak in faith. But since no one ask for help, no one has demon in this church. *So no one in your church is weak in faith in your church then? All elites, wohoo! But how come I don’t see anyone moving the mountain or healing any disease in your church if everyone is strong in faith?*

10 Re:#4, but pastor! I know so and so, they did this and this but they don’t repent. Pastor: They are not Christians to begin with! Pastor, more than 90% of Christian brother watch porn… and more than half the church sin and not repent. Rationalization and refusal to repent are so common! I don’t know about this. No one told me that.

11. If you belong to a church fellowship group, attend every Sunday service and Sunday school, then you are doing fine. But pastor, like I said in #10, 90% of brothers watch porn or many sin without repentant even though they did the whole nine yards you told them to Pastor: They are not real Christian then. But they believe the Bible cover to cover! It’s just head knowledge!! Head knowledge doesn’t make a person a real Christian!!

12 Re:#11 I did all you have taught me to do, but I still struggle with this, this, and that sins. What’s my problem? My buddies sin too but some of them don’t repent for a long time. Pastor: Doing good works doesn’t mean you guys are real Christians!! All you have are just head knowledge, not genuine experience with God! *I guess I am going to be labeled as a false Christian if I keep asking…*

13: Re: #12 But why do I still struggle with sins after I repent? What if I can’t stop myself and one day fall into a heavier sin? Pastor: A mature person won’t ask that question!

14 The more money you have the more sorrowful you will become. But the Old Testament says God loves to bless us with prosperity! Pastor: Old Testament is in the past. We are in the New Testament era.

15 God doesn’t guarantee your Christian life will be dandy, rich, peaceful, successful… But Pastor, my life sucks too much, walking around poor and fail everything, *something must be wrong with our teaching* The Bible never guarantee your life will be happy and easy!!! But Pastor, the Old Testament says… (back to #14)

16 If it’s God will, brother Ken’s will recover from cancer. But brother, what’s God’s will? Typical Christian: Who am I to say?

17 If you don’t devote your entire days to do job search *randomly like God has nothing to say about your career* just like everyone does, but take time to pray and seek God’s will for your job and wait for Him to speak before you take any job, then you are lazy. God doesn’t talk to His people which job to take, it’s too small for Him. *Go back to #1*

18 Stop talking about the Bible so much and asking pointy questions about it, don’t talk to people about these things, otherwise you can’t bring them to the church because they would think you are weird. Talk about “casual” things instead.

19 Christians are supposed to be poor and lowly. Get a 9-5 jobs so you can fit in with our church. 90% of our church members are 9-5 employees, who are you to think that you are called to start a business? Don’t be too ambitious and conceited! *Update: Now that I think of #11, maybe 90% of our church members aren’t even Christians!* Don’t forget that “I told you so”, your so called entrepreneurial projects will fail in two years and you will get stuck at where you are now. See what happen after 2 years at #34

20 Don’t mention demons. Why ALWAYS [loud] talk about demons? You are worshiping Satan if you talk about him SO MUCH! Just talk about Jesus!

21 This is the New testament era. The Old Testament was past and it was so difficult to read. Let’s just stick with the New Testament in our Bible Study.

22 The Old Testament was in the past. The Four Gospels were before Jesus’ crucifixion, and Revelation is about the future, so let just focus on the New Testament books that remain.

23 Don’t talk about the Bible too much in the church, it’s too heavy for lay Christians. Let’s balance our prayers and Bible studies with fun activities.

24. Re#5 But pastor, I thought we are supposed to pray and read the Bible to find out the cure from God if we have any problem with our mental health? It has nothing to do with prayers. Don’t talk to your therapists about the Bible.

25. Idols, statues, charm, and occult objects of any kind cannot affect you in any way. We are Christians. We can put any object in our home, even if it has spell on it. Go watch any horror movies if you want, The Exorcist, Harry Potter, whatever. They have no ill effect on us! *But Pastor! Some people saw real demons and real occult magic in these things? If they have no ill effect, why would Satan put these real evil messages in them? Stop talking about Satan! You are worshiping demons if you talk about him too much!! *Back to #20

26. Re:#4 But pastor, like I told you in #15 I walk around poor, I just don’t have money to see doctor, therapists, and psychiatrists. Pastor: …

27. Regular fasting is legalistic. It hurts your body. Regular fasting is just good work, it might not help you spiritually. So what helps? I did everything you told me but still struggle with sins. Pastor: … [Repeat what he says in #11, 12, 28, 29]

28. Don’t talk to me about the problem of porn or MASTURBATION! [I used a tiny voice when I say "masturbation", but he increased his volume when he mentioned the word "masturbation" even though some Christians sisters are chatting next door "SO YOU MASTURBATE?" thanks Pastor!] Don’t you know it’s wrong to walk around and ask EVERYONE question like this? *But Pastor, when did I ask EVERYONE this question? I was asking you*

29. You sin because you choose to sin. Addiction is an illusion, an excuse!

30. Re: #3 If people in this church have gift of tongue, fine, but don’t use it in church meeting because it would disrupt others. No one know what they talk about if they speak in tongue. *Can’t we design some programs and meeting that allow people to pray in tongue? Why should we restrain the gift of God to accommodate the tradition of men? Why don’t we seek gift of Interpretation so we can interpret the tongue? Won’t they disrupt others if they pray in tongue at home* [Too bad I didn't think of this rebuttal at the time]

31 People won’t read your Christian blog, because you are not a certified, approved-seminary trained pastor! See #2 But pastor, I got 2000 visitor per month and it’s only beginning. People don’t care who you are as long as what you write is good. Pastor: …

32 Stop writing journal about your walk with God, it only make you think even more (See #5), go see a doctor instead and don’t forget #24. You have already mentioned prophecy, salvation, church living, demons, and the whole nine yards in such a short meeting with me. All you talk about is pointy question. People would think you are weird.  See? you have a problem. (Go to #18)

33 Re:#26 You walk around poor because you lack focus. You think about the whole nine yards in #32 too much that you fail to land and keep a good job!!!

34 Pastor! 2 years ago you said that all my entrepreneurial projects will fail. They failed! What do you think? *Now I had failed to make 1 cent from most of them. Only one project made me $3.17 and I can’t even cash it in. Even my younger brother did much better than that, I guess it’s because he doesn’t have a pastor who cursed him with Pastoral authority. He doesn’t go to church. Curses are real! (See #6)*  Pastor: [sheepishly, with a "gentle, kind, typical pastor look" expression on his face] Give it another try! Me: …

35. Re# 27 Since I can’t find the answers from you in #11, 12, 27, 28, 29, I went out and read such and such books. I sensed that the Holy Spirit was leading me to read those books. What do you think about their teaching? You are doing too much that you confused yourself… [repeating #32]…and remember head knowledge doesn’t help you! [repeating #12]… but if you do the list on #11 within our church you will be fine… those books you read were written by famous preachers… On the judgment day you will see many nameless pastors, evangelists, and ministers who will get their rewards in heaven.. *So that means you are one of those nameless pastors then?… hm… I also read of many testimonies by Christians whom God had led to heaven and hell, and they reported that many pastors ended up in Hell even though they believed in #4 …hm… *

36. So few people come to our prayer meeting! *you forbid praying in tongue (#30), you refuse to pray for healing (#16), you discourage us from praying for prosperity (#14), you discourage us from battling demons (#20), you don’t let us confess our sins (#28), we don’t even know whether fasting or prayers is useful (#27), you say prayers are useless for psychological problems (#24), you don’t let us keep watch and prepare for the end time (#5), you tell us not to seek God’s face (#37), and you told us not to seek God’s will on something that occupies us 8 hours per day 40 hours a week such as career (#17), then why should I go to your prayer meeting? *

37. Don’t seek God’s face. If He shows up, you will either drop dead on the spot or you will be bossed around by Him so much you would rather die.

Conclusion:

I am lucky that I am in an evangelical church. If I have been in the medieval Catholic Church, they would have labelled me as heretic and burn me on the stake for criticizing the church.

Demonic lies are everywhere.

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I really came out of the closet – about the fact that I don’t believe in the “one saved, always saved” and the “Rapture is for every believer” theories, and the fact that I think most of what our church teaches and doesn’t teaches have so far failed to equip me to face most of my challenges in life.

Should you tell these things to your brothers and sisters? While I don’t usually tell the church folks what I really believe to avoid a fight, I think at the end of the day you should let your brothers and sisters know.

The aforementioned theories really did major disservices to sincere Christians, insincere Christians, and anything in between, because the theories undermine the importance to watch out for what is to come – the future judgments: the Tribulation and even Hell.

I also shared with them a tiny bit about the trials I had been through. It was quite hard to have to explain to someone who has always been doing well in a typical job why you have been incomeless and unemployed for 3 years.

Generational curses and verbal curses were the major factors that break my destiny.

Before I went for lunch with them, I’d spend an hour praying to God. It was saddening to pray about my past and ask God what I should say if the couple ask about my “job hunt”. I was wandering in the desert financially.

How do I explain this to them?

I had lost so much honor and opportunities in the past already. And here I have to explain to other about it and make myself go through the entire memory bank again!

So I started off by telling them how I have this conviction to seek God’s perfect will for my life in everything, including job search, and that God hasn’t really instructed me where I should go in terms of job finding. (Proverbs 3:5-6) (And I do have sent out applications, even to Wal Mart, but all doors closed. I was once hired for a week and was said to be over qualified. The owner and I had a lot in common, even went to the same church, but it didn’t last over a week)

Basically, when I worked, I was always on the verge of getting fired. If there were options, I often ended up choosing the slow and crooked path. When there were opportunities, they often slipped through my hands in the last second. Blessing evaded me most of the time.

I doubled and tripled my will. I prayed. I read. I sought help. Every door closed. I joined a Network Marketing company to keep myself positive, since NM usually have those pumping-you-up prep talks and positive thinking rules, but even that turned sour. Positive thinking without Truth and God is futile.

I couldn’t explain my suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t stop my depression. I had short attention span. Every dream I cherished ended up broken. Almost every nightmare that I dreaded get fulfilled. (But I think God really kept some of the worst ones from happening, such as I didn’t really commit suicide, and I didn’t go blind, even though my eyesight haven’t got healed yet)

As a result, I also had to spend a lot of time to come to term with my memory and try to know the whys. But the down side of that was, the more time you had, the more your brain will find things to occupy those time. The more time you give your brain, the more it thinks.

Okay, back to the topic.

God told me the major reason of all these was because of curses that still operated in my life, so I was able to break them after learning these things. Demons feed upon curses and they really go after anyone who is under curse(s).

Also, there was my own problem – my own lack of faith? I thought I had faith, but I had failed to speak the word of faith often! As Christians, we should speak the word of God with faith, not verbalize the negatives of the situation nor complains. Over the year, my negative confessions often get fulfilled. Speaking of self-fulfilling prophecies. See my view on What Is Faith

After I learned about these things, I was really shocked, but now I have to explain them to my Baptist fellows. Baptist Churches don’t teach these things.

I have been told to keep quiet about my new findings because they can cause such a big impact to others. Well, millions of churchgoers could be going to hell without knowing it. We have millions of people in the churches today, but not all of them are getting saved in the end. I know it for a fact. They must at least be given a fair treatment by telling them the truth.

False security will only drastically increase one’s chance of falling into sins and refusing to repent:

Hebrews 3:12-13

12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. ¹³But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

Today was such a battle for me, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. And people kept asking me about my “job hunt”…

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God was impressing upon me to pray against the enemy and transfer their wealth to the righteous, so I need to know how they operate and who they are.

Reading American Holocaust and a book written by Fritz Springmeler on occult mind control.

This is the email I sent to some of my friends as a result of the horrible things I found during my research:

Hi all,

There is a credible source that reports many cases of Satan sacrifices that are happening in U.S. behind the scene.

If you have not heard of things like this ever, it might sound ridiculous to you, but ”Blessed are the merciful, for their SHALL OBTAIN MERCY.” Please pray about the issue and get informed! I would suggest scriptural based and laser-focused prayer that aim at a concrete result because only this kind of prayers actually works.

The traps have been set up for mass persecutions that might happen in the near future in North America, and only prayers can stop them.
See one of the sources here ( but ignore her “no-Rapture” doctrine cuz she believe there is no Rapture, just the Great Tribulation for everyone)

Witchcraft, secret organizations, mind control, human sacrifice, and other horrible things are, for the most part, REAL. It’s time for many Christians to know about them and stand up against them.

Only if Christians know what the enemy is can we effectively neutralize them. Remember, communists took half the Korea even though it had been “90% Christians” in their population when it took place, and for China, they were experiencing revivals in the 20-50s, but the communists still able took the country. Russia (U.S.S.A) also had killed millions of Christians through decades.

Communists have a satanic origin, but that’s another topic.

Sai Kit
bible-verses-insights.com
See also,
Secret about Satanist’s mind control over victims and how they use them to infiltrate institutions over the global (This website is just a platform of the conspiracy theorists, they have the online text version of the book ”The Illuminati Formula to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Control Slave” , which I want you to read or at least learn about if you dont have time. The book is written by a Christian. But for the website itself you can ignore it because a lot of their conspiracy theories such as “reptilians”, or “911 was a staged attack”,  are disinformation. )

P.S. if you have any heartfelt comment, let me know. If you are not interested, tell me also so I can “unsubscribe” you.

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